End of 2017

Hey stranger, it’s me. Thank you for still reading. I know it has been way too long. I will explain.

Let’s talk about social media first. I am going to be shutting down the Facebook page for my website today. That’s due to me shutting down Facebook in general.

If you didn’t need any more indication that social media is harming all of us, go read this article here.

This year for the first time in my practice my schedule is completely booked. Overbooked as a matter of fact. As in I have a waitlist for clients who want to be seen because my weekly schedule has no more availability.

That is part of the explanation on why there have been no posts since the Spring.

The other part of the explanation goes back to what I was posting about regarding vulnerability, self compassion, negative self talk, and increasing our awareness of our negative self talk and attributions.

Again and again with clients I seem to be coming back to the same message.

Be kind to yourself.

It is a decidedly difficult choice for many of us to make.

Being kind to myself means no more social media. Being kind to myself means knowing that when I am provoked to feel angry the most important thing I can do is remember to be kind to myself.

My central nervous system (and yours) is being overwhelmed, threatened, or attacked by something in the environment. It could be from watching the news, looking at your acquaintance’s vacation photos, an argument with your significant other, a phone call from your parents, traffic, or just too much damn noise.

The bottom line is the same: the environment is overwhelming you. Expecting the environment (most likely other people) to course correct in most situations is both a mistake and usually absurd. You have to practice extending kindness to yourself first

That could be taking some deep breaths. It could be feeling the soles of your feet on the ground. It could be taking space. It could be going for a walk or asking to stop the conversation until you are feeling less overwhelmed.

You have to do these things. You know what you need better than the environment does. Stop expecting the environment to read your mind. Yes, you can share what you need. But only after you have first acted with kindness to yourself.

Self regulate before listing your demands.

That’s what 2018 is going to be for me. Self regulate first. Then engage with the environment from a far better position of awareness.

I hope you try it too.

About Therapyisdandy

A dandy therapist
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2 Responses to End of 2017

  1. Sarah M. says:

    Welcome back!!! I would have commented sooner, but just ran into your post a few moments ago; what a wonderful surprise! Brilliant food for thought, as always. Yes, it is oh so hard to be kind to one’s self. For whatever reason, self-care always feels, well, selfish.

    • Thank you. I will try not to be gone for so long! I strongly encourage everyone to give the book, Self Compassion by Kristin Neff a try. It is the kind of thing for must of us that will need time to sink in. I have a post coming later today that will be some links to useful articles i have come across in the past week. It is something i would share on the Facebook page, but i shut that down. Thank you for reading, and thank your for your engagement with my articles. I appreciate it very much.

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