I know I am a week late. Blame the tryptophan.
The holidays are here and with them come all the different family melodramas that you may or may not be ready to accept.
For many adults the holidays can feel forced, fake and just serve as a reminder to all the unfinished business we counselors like to lump into a category called Family of Origin Concerns.
Charming sounding, isn’t it?
If you have no long lasting or emotionally crippling issues with your family of origin, if you are happy and everyone else in your family is happy (or else!) and there are no conflicts whatsoever, then this blog is not for you. This blog is for people who want honesty with their holidays.
NPR was asking people what topics they share with their family at the dinner table on Thanksgiving. The old saw about not bringing up politics or religion is still quite relevant, as NPR discovered. You can listen to their results here.
Perhaps one of the aspects that is so bothersome about the holidays is that we have come to celebrate only the surface of things—that artificial veneer of family support or community—that exists on top of a orgy of consumerism and gluttony kicked off by a holiday commemorating a white washed, fake celebration where our ancestors stole an entire country away from the indigenous tribes who already lived here.
If so, then no surprise we don’t go looking beneath the surface of things.
Thanksgiving might actually, more truthfully, mean we are thankful that we don’t have think about all the bad things in our past that we did, or all the ongoing self destructive choices that we make on a weekly or even daily basis.
Oh, and we celebrate by buying cheap electronics or sneakers. Fantastic.
If the rift between what you want to say and what you actually say is that wide, then it’s time to make a change. Therapy is about change. The good, the bad, and the totally loaded with carbs and sugars kind of change.
If you can’t bring yourself to be honest with your family, or yourself, then let’s start working together.
I promise never to make you eat turkey.